Most people show signs before a crisis, not just during one. Here's what to actually watch for, and what to say. A lot of people believe you can't tell, or that asking about it will "put the idea in someone's head." Neither is true. Most people show signs beforehand, and asking directly is one of the safest things you can do.
If you are in immediate danger, stop reading and call your local emergency number now - 911 in the US and Canada, 999 in the UK and Ireland, 000 in Australia, 111 in New Zealand, or 112 across most of Europe.
Ask directly. "Are you thinking about suicide" is a real, safe question - it does not plant the idea, and most people who are struggling feel relief that someone finally asked plainly instead of dancing around it. Avoid "but you have so much to live for" (it can make someone feel more alone, not less) and "don't talk like that" (it shuts the door instead of opening it).
See the note above for the crisis line where you live - it's always worth the call, even if you're not sure yet. If there's immediate danger, use your local emergency number.
Services and numbers change over time. If one of these is wrong or missing for your country, telling us is worth more than anything else on this page.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788, 24/7 and confidential (thehotline.org). To report a child being groomed or exploited online, contact the NCMEC CyberTipline at 1-800-843-5678 or CyberTipline.org. For a mental-health crisis, call or text 988; call 911 for immediate danger.
Kids Help Phone supports anyone up to 29, day or night, at 1-800-668-6868 or by texting CONNECT to 686868. For domestic violence, your province runs its own helpline - search "[your province] domestic violence helpline" or call 211 to be connected. Call or text 988 for a mental-health crisis; call 911 for immediate danger.
Refuge runs the UK's National Domestic Abuse Helpline free, 24/7, at 0808 2000 247. For a child at risk, call the NSPCC helpline at 0808 800 5000, or Childline at 0800 1111 if you're the young person. Report online grooming to CEOP at ceop.police.uk. Samaritans (116 123) will listen any time; call 999 for immediate danger.
1800RESPECT is Australia's national sexual assault and domestic/family violence counselling line, 24/7, at 1800 737 732. Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800. Report online grooming or exploitation to the eSafety Commissioner (esafety.gov.au) or ThinkUKnow. Lifeline (13 11 14) offers crisis support; call 000 for immediate danger.
Women's Refuge runs a crisis line 24/7 at 0800 733 843. Netsafe (netsafe.org.nz) takes reports of online grooming and harm. For general crisis support, call or text 1737 any time. Call 111 for immediate danger.
Women's Aid runs a 24-hour National Freephone Helpline at 1800 341 900. The Rape Crisis Centre's national helpline is 1800 77 8888, and Childline (ISPCC) is 1800 66 66 66 for children and young people. Report child sexual abuse material online at Hotline.ie. Call 112 or 999 for immediate danger.
There isn't one worldwide number, so use a directory you can trust: Befrienders Worldwide (befrienders.org) lists real crisis lines by country, and Child Helpline International (childhelplineinternational.org) does the same for children and teens. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency number right now.
No. That belief is one of the most persistent myths there is, and the research does not support it. Asking directly and calmly gives someone permission to say something they were already carrying alone, and it tends to bring relief rather than danger.
Talking about being a burden or wanting out, giving away things that matter to them, withdrawing from people, a sharp change in sleep or drinking, and a sudden unexplained calm after a long low stretch. Sudden peace after a rough period is one of the most commonly missed signs.
Plainly. "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" is clearer and safer than a softened version they can dodge. Then stop talking and let the answer land without rushing to fix it.
Stay with them, take it seriously without panicking, and help them get to a crisis line or emergency service rather than leaving them to make the call alone. You are not responsible for treating them. You are responsible for not leaving them by themselves with it.
Call or text a crisis line listed further down this page. You do not have to be in immediate danger to use one, and you do not have to have decided anything before you call.
You don't need the perfect words. You need to not flinch.
You do not have to fix it. You just have to be the person who does not look away.
A drink after a rough loss, something to take the edge off before a stream - the line moves quieter than you'd think.
Hotline advocates spend most of their time talking with people still working out whether their situation counts. You are allowed to call to think out loud.