| Forum Home > General Discussion > I need help but don't laugh...... | ||
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DHG DOMESHOT Member Posts: 121 |
I need help with a poem I wrote and I need an honest opinion....which is the part I'm scared of...I just wanna become a better writer but noones ever honest....when I get some other comments i will post my poem up and see what you guys think....please try not to be to harsh.... | |
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DHG DOMESHOT Member Posts: 121 |
Lol can I get admin to delete this por favor | |
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-- "Nigga d-d-don't make me put you on the rotisserie with an apple in yo mouth right now cuz you-you wouldn't want that" DHG HarlemNite. my response? "Davon u could use the rotisserie cuz god didn't finish cooking you in the oven so yo black ass came out white!" lmao Davon is my brother for real lol keep ya fist up vanilla cuz u still cookies and cream while I'm that rich caramel!
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DHG TheSaintRag Member Posts: 16 |
Is that your poem? | |
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DHG CrAzYxShOtS Moderator Posts: 63 |
dude. its okay.... im a published poet. been publeshed in 3 books.
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-- And He steps out of the shadows and is an angel. an insane twisted angel
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DHG DOMESHOT Member Posts: 121 |
Well I'm gonna put it up in a bit....Wait | |
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-- "Nigga d-d-don't make me put you on the rotisserie with an apple in yo mouth right now cuz you-you wouldn't want that" DHG HarlemNite. my response? "Davon u could use the rotisserie cuz god didn't finish cooking you in the oven so yo black ass came out white!" lmao Davon is my brother for real lol keep ya fist up vanilla cuz u still cookies and cream while I'm that rich caramel!
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DHG DOMESHOT Member Posts: 121 |
Oh my God why Tormented by love Mocked by a dove I see beauty in plain sight But I can do nothing even with might I see your eyes so dark and green Symbolizing the earth a beauty to be seen Such a gorgous face there's no denile I am blessed to see such a splendid smile My mouth holds it's tounge While my heart has sung Such a woman you are To make these feelings so bizzare But with all my might there's nothing I can do Except sit here and get lost in you.... | |
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-- "Nigga d-d-don't make me put you on the rotisserie with an apple in yo mouth right now cuz you-you wouldn't want that" DHG HarlemNite. my response? "Davon u could use the rotisserie cuz god didn't finish cooking you in the oven so yo black ass came out white!" lmao Davon is my brother for real lol keep ya fist up vanilla cuz u still cookies and cream while I'm that rich caramel!
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DHG Bl00dMama Administrator Posts: 24 |
WOW! I LOVE IT!! I write too. I have a site set up to post my things. www.mamaswords.webs.com | |
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DHG DOMESHOT Member Posts: 121 |
Wow thanks! Helps I wish I could fix the stanzas but it's from my iPod so I couldn't fix it...sorry guys | |
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-- "Nigga d-d-don't make me put you on the rotisserie with an apple in yo mouth right now cuz you-you wouldn't want that" DHG HarlemNite. my response? "Davon u could use the rotisserie cuz god didn't finish cooking you in the oven so yo black ass came out white!" lmao Davon is my brother for real lol keep ya fist up vanilla cuz u still cookies and cream while I'm that rich caramel!
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DHG TheSaintRag Member Posts: 16 |
That's good stuff. Remember than poems don't have to rhyme. | |
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